Finding the Lifestyle in Real Life

This blog is reposted here thanks to my freind SUGAR (the wise observer) who wrote an excellent blog back in July 2007, a bit of which I am going to quote below. It made me think, which you already know I belive is a wonderful thing...

"I have observed many unions that are both online and up close and personal. None have touched me more than those who are devoted and expressive. Demonstratively showing their love and professing their devotion in word and deed. The D/s relationships hold cherished and protected places in both Dom/Domme and submissive alike.....(some removed)..... Respect is the order of the Day! ...(some removed)...Folks who genuinely believe in a lifestyle and all that it is. I see the integrity and the strength through the informative, stimulating, and challenging blogs. I am in awe of the character of some and the lack in others. " (by Sugar)

What is the 'lifestyle' about? Is it really about the leather, the flogging, the clothing, the words, the ritual? Or is this just part of it?

Isn't the D/s lifestyle, whether Master/sub or Mistress/Sub more about the respect, integrity and peace and cherishing that comes from the power exchange being played out in O/one's life?

I have to agree with Sugar. It sometimes awes me when I read the blogs of those who really believe in it and live it, not as a storybook/fantasy life, but daily. I have been inspired by Dom(me)s and Subs alike. They write reality about their exsistance and finding out who they really are through living out what may have begun as fantasy but which has now become real.

The reality can come as a slap in the face, or it can come as a fulfillment of all you ever wanted. I have seen one happen and lived the other.

There are some who cannot let go of their own fantasies or agendas to accept the reality of the lifestyle. (both D and s) They continue to search, and hopefully one day they will find that perfect O/other that will fulfill all their needs.

There are some, who while still searching do find the O/one who fulfills. Maybe not every scripted fantasy, but the very need that underlies it, in their own unique way. It requires strength, forgiveness, patience, caring, sacrifice and always, always respect. It is not easy, because I don't think anyone will be able to meet another's every script, but it is well worth it.

I do not claim that "My" way is the only way, but in the life of my sub and I we do cherish and protect our lifestyle and each other and we are also inspired by others who do.